The Art of Feedback: Knowing When to Share & When to Keep It to Yourself

Social media has become a powerful tool for connection, collaboration, and business growth. Many of us utilize Facebook groups and coordinated engagement strategies to expand our reach, build relationships, and boost visibility in the ever-changing algorithm game.

But lately, I’ve noticed a pattern—one that is borderline cringeworthy.

There’s a fine line between engagement and UNSOLICITED advice, and unfortunately, that line is often crossed in ways that feel unnecessary and, at times, even a little rude.

I’m talking about those moments when someone shares a post—maybe they’re celebrating a win, sharing a thought, engaging with their audience, or maybe they are trying to think less and put themselves out there more—only to receive a flood of comments telling them how they should have done it instead, what would have been better, how they could do it next time…

Here’s the thing: feedback has a time and place, and knowing when to offer it versus when to keep it to yourself is an underrated skill that can make or break online interactions.

When is Feedback is Helpful vs. When is it Unnecessary?

Not all feedback is bad, of course! In the right context, constructive feedback is a gift. But in other cases, it can come across as critical, dismissive, or even self-serving. Let’s break it down:

When Feedback is Helpful:

• When it’s asked for! – If someone specifically requests feedback or advice, go for it! They’re opening the door for input.
  

• When you have a genuine solution – If someone is struggling and you have firsthand experience with something that helped you, sharing that can be valuable (as long as it's framed with kindness).
  

• When you’re offering it privately – If your feedback could potentially embarrass someone, a respectful private message might be a better approach than a public comment.

When Feedback is Unnecessary (or Just Plain Rude):

• When someone is simply sharing a thought or experience – Not every post needs to be a learning moment. Sometimes, people just want to express themselves!
  

• When it’s nitpicky and unsolicited – Saying, “This post would perform better if you changed X, Y, and Z” when nobody asked for critique isn’t helpful—it’s just inserting yourself where you weren’t invited.
  

• When it takes away from the post’s intention – If someone is celebrating a win or sharing something personal, comments that critique their wording, formatting, or strategy can deflate their moment instead of adding to it.

The Golden Rule of Social Media Etiquette:

Before hitting “comment” on someone’s post, ask yourself:
1. Did they ask for feedback?
2. Will my comment add value, or will it just make them second-guess themselves?
3. Am I offering this to truly help, or do I just want to sound like an expert?

If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face in real life, reconsider whether it needs to be said at all.

At the end of the day, we’re all here to grow, connect, and support each other. Thoughtful engagement should lift people up, not make them feel like they’re constantly being critiqued. Let’s create spaces where feedback is welcome when appropriate but not thrown around like unsolicited confetti.

What are your thoughts? Have you ever received feedback you didn’t ask for? Let’s chat in the comments below!